The Beaver: Part 2 Reflection

Depression is something that many of us have had or are going through and many of us never talk about what happened to us, what may have caused it or how we got better. Today, in light of The Beaver, I'll be doing just this.
For about a year and a half, back in 2009, I was in my first serious relationship.I had not had anyone like her in my life at this point, being single for most of the time, having some, shall we say, nasty habits that I will not indulge into at this time that didn't make me feel like a great person. I was over the moon for this girl, doing everything that I could to make myself be a better person for this girl, doing the things she wanted to do, wearing the clothes that she wanted me to wear, eat places she wanted to, etc etc. I would do everything for her, and yet I would still screw up, and be in a constant fear of being up against the wall, unable to enjoy life going around me because of the cause and effect that was happening in my personal life.
Eventually, this strain and total bending over backwards for her took it's toll, causing us to have very frequent fight, all of this leading up towards a breakup in July of 2010.
We stopped talking for a bit, but we got back together in October, once gain I was over the moon for her. Let the reader not get the impression that I did not love her, as I did. No one can go through all the pain that I went through and not have any love for this women. This culminated in March with a second breakup, but we still continued to hang out until August, going through a almost weekly routine of fights and making up to each other, not a healthy way for anyone to live. We went back out again a third time in December of 2011, but if you can see the trend, the following few months had us fighting, making up and me literally getting sick over the whole thing and a final breakup at the end of March of this year. I haven't spoken to her since.
The depression aspect of this women in my life was that I gave her control about how I should live my life in a certain way, under a certain style and every other way was foolish and stupid...and I believed it. People are unique and like in The Beaver, should never put all their eggs in one basket when dealing with depression. It might be a temporary solution, but it won't cure you.
Now, at this point you may be wondering how I'm doing and if i'm over my depression from this women. The answer to this question is yes, but it didn't happen recently, it actually happened almost 2 years ago, right after the first breakup. Nothing was as tough as the first one, getting over the heartbreak that followed.
One day, me and my sister went to see my cousin, who was celebrating her 20th birthday. I hadn't seen her in almost a year and a half, and I always liked her, being the closest family member to my age(along with her sister who is only 11 months older then me). She was someone that I always looked to. Anyway, the way she greeted me, and the conversation that we had about music and what she had been doing in her life and vice versa somehow had a profoundly positive effect on me at that moment. It was the first positive experience I'd really had since the end of the relationship. The way her face lit up and the way that she hugged me when I gave her my little birthday present to her(it was 15$ to Chapters/Indigo Books), is a feeling that I haven't felt since that day, it was just a purely positive moment, one of happiness and love that I can still feel right now as I write this.
Now, I'm not saying that everything got better once this happened, but it was the first step towards a recovery that had many missteps and false leads, but one that looking back today, has gotten me up and away from the person not only from 2 years ago, but from the person that I was almost 4 years ago. Still, each day is another day, and there are many dark days that I've had, and will have later no doubt. Some things with me are different these days, such as I'm not as mean on my blog as I used to be, simply because I'm tired of thriving off negativity. It's not a good way to live life, and as you may be able to tell, it filters in some of my posts both good and bad(though still there are many things that I will always hate...I'm looking at you Radiohead). There are many memories that I look back to, but not that bad times, the good ones that you remember, cause in the end that is what you remember, the good stuff. No one wants to linger on the bad in their life, or it can lead you down the very path that I and many many people have gone down.
So for all depressed people out there reading this(and you have to be low to want to read this blog, jkin), if you think that this is the end, if there isn't a way out, if you can't do anything to make yourself feel good, seek help from someone who loves you, or go talk to a professional. I did eventually and it worked wonders to me. Go to a happy place that you went as a child, find a happy memory because they are all there, be it locked away or out in the open. Nothing is more important to me and should be to you, then feeling good about what you're doing. If it involves taking a couple weeks off your job, despite how unrealistic it may sound, you should really do it. It could mean all the world to you and save your life. I never tried to commit suicide(not saying I may not have thought about it, which I did at one point), but think how many depressed people think they have nothing to live for. If you think there is the slightest ray of light in your life, go towards it.
I'm sorry if this is a bit preachy, but take it from someone, you don't want to stay in the dark place forever. You can't live life like that, and nor should anyone else. That's about all I can say. I'm better now, but like I said, each day is a battle, somedays are sunny, others are cloudy(as weird as this may sound, my days can be effected by is it's sunny or cloudy/rainy nowadays, whether it will be a good day or not), but each day is a new day, one more down the road.
And to the cousin who helped me out all those years ago, I will forever be grateful for everything that you ever said and did for me. You made me happy, you made me want to live again, you helped me down the road to get to become the person that I am today. I cannot express more love and thanks for you because of this.
Thank you Sarah.

The Beaver Part One: Review

This is going to be a 2 part review due to the content of the film is something that hits a chord inside me. This will be the usual funny(if you call it that) review(if you call it that too) while the second part will be a little more, well personal/serious.
To be honest, I only wanted to see this movie because Jennifer Lawrence was in it, because ever since Hunger Games, I've become somewhat of a fanboy for her. When I saw the trailer for this, I, like many people laughed at the idea of this film and especially given that it had Mel Gibson in the starring role as a depressed husband who finds his ray of light in a beaver puppet. This is the movies weakest point, ironically. I think playing up this aspect of the film ruined it's chances of being taken seriously by anyone, when there is so much more to the film besides it. The main theme of the film is depression, how we deal with it and what it costs us in return. Almost everyone suffers here, be it Gibson, his wife(played by Jodie Starling, uhh I mean Foster), son (played by Anton Yelchin, who I am jealous of simply because he has gotten to make out with both Kat Dennings and Jennifer Lawrence, though not in the same film) and Jennifer Lawrence's character, who lost her spark when her brother died some time ago. The ways of dealing with the depression in this are different for each character, be it throwing people out, banging your head against the wall, sleeping the day away or simply ignoring the underlining factor. It may be a bit weak in some mines that everything is just cured at the end, and that how he ends up getting rid of his problems way bit a bit extreme, but for the most part, the movie handles itself quite well.
Overall, The Beaver may be just another movie for you. It may be a joke to even consider watching something like this. Well, believe me, I thought the same and I was wrong. Maybe you will be too. And there's nothing wrong with that.
Rating: 4.5/5

Movie Review: The Dictator

I remember the first time that I saw Borat in theaters with my dad. I don't think he expected it to be the kind of movie that it turned out to be. The thing with Borat is, that once you've watched it a couple of times, there's nothing more to it. The movie is suppose to be offensive and shock you, which is where the humor comes from. Take away the shock value and it's just an okay movie(I haven't watched Borat in years mind you). I never saw his followup Bruno, not do to the content, just because I wasn't interested in Sasha Baron Cohen at this point. In fact, up until this movie, I thought he'd dropped off the radar. Well, with The Dictator, you can be glad that's he's still around. The Dictator relays on the same shock value that Borat used, but this film seems to have a actual story behind it, for which I applaud, meaning it may get a few more watches out of me. This film seems to be a satire on eastern dictators and the crazy things that they do, so for the first 2/3's of the film, it's quite good. Then the movie gets a bit Hollywood-ish near the end, with him vowing to change his ways, falling in love, etc etc, but this film takes a different turn on these events, for which again I give credit to them. It's not as offensive as Borat, but I though it was better(also the short run time was quite nice). Also, Ben Kingsley seems to be the easiest man to get that's one a Oscar, cause he's in everything. I mean, he's a good actor, but do you want to do any movie that comes your way?
Overall, The Dictator is good, possibly great by my standards. However, my standards aren't everyone's believe it or not.
Rating: 3.5/5 

Double Song Review: The One That Got Away/Part of Me

Well, I've been meaning to put this up for a while now. If you've read this blog much, you know I have more hate then love for Miss Katy Perry. I think most of her music is just awful, but sometimes she does surprise me, though more often not then at all. Today's review is a double header, one of a song I never intended to review, and one I'm dying to review.
The One That Got Away is the song that I thought ended the long reign of Katy Perry, having hit a record 5 Number Ones in a row off the same album, something that only one other man has ever done. This song is actually better then I initially thought. I mean, there are a lot of culture references that get under my skin(one does not simply, "make out in a Mustang to Radiohead"), but overall its hardly a bad song. Had it been released any other time, it may very well have gotten to Number One. Alas, at the time it was released, another song about regret of a lost love was also out at the time, and was already at Number One. It was less dance /pop music and more centered around the emotional delivery of the artist. It was simple, stripped down and powerful, guaranteed to make anyone with any decent emotion shed a tear. That being said, The One That Got Away does have its moments, but in the end is just a poor man's Someone Like You(which is strange because the former was probably written/released well before the latter. Guess some people are just better then others). Also, the video is kind of strange. I mean, yes losing the one you love is sad, but you can throw a rock and find another, equally talented painter. If anything, it probably did her good that he left her, cause she doesn't seem too well off for herself, despite looking like Winona Ryder in Edward Scissorhands. 

Now about a year and a half ago, I challenged Katy Perry to make a song that had to do with her marriage. Well, she did and wouldn't you know it, it sounds awful. While it may have been coincidence that the above song may have sounded like Adele, this song is most defiantly a ripoff of Rolling in the Deep, throwing all this venom at a former love, saying how she's better off without him, you know the drill. And again, like before, this song isn't close to how good that song was. If anything, it sounds like she quickly dashed it off like it was just a last minute addition to a repackaged album, which is exactly what it turned out to be. Does anyone still want this album in the world? It's hardly noteworthy of anything, it's just simple pop music(abit somewhat better then others) that doesn't warrant a re-release. And how did this song get to Number One? Really, someone explain this to me, how did such a half-assed, fuck you ballad get to Number One??? It isn't even that bitter towards the man, she sounds more happy that the relationship has ended, which believe it or not, is how many relationships end! She has less emotion towards this guy and more towards wondering what she's going to eat for lunch later. The video for this one is laughable. It puts her in the most unbelievable role: joining the Army. Just say that out loud for a moment: Katy Perry joining the Army. Who had enough sense to green-light this idea? It baffles my mind with how bad the music industry can be at some points(some point, there are rays of light still out there). The only way this video could've been good is if she actually kissed a girl in it. But we all know this will never happen.
All this aside, the fact that her marriage did end is a bit sad. I mean, I actually wanted it to work, like any marriage(unless it's abusive in which case I say hang that fucker!), so my sympathies toward both parties.
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What, you want me to say more? What am I, Gossip Girl?

Overall, The One That Got Away is probably one of her better songs. Part of Me is one of her laziest and worse. That's all.
Rating: 
4/5(One)
2/5(Part)

Movie Review: Red State

Of all the directors in America, none have ever been as personal as Kevin Smith. He does things the way he wants it done for the people that want to see it. And now in this day and age, he's decided to walk away from directing altogether. And while those of use who love him may not want him to depart from this medium, Red State shows us why he should stay.
This movie is probably more well known for all the buzz it picked up before it's release. It was independently distributed by Kevin Smith himself, promoted by many Q & A sessions that he has become famous for doing. The movie itself, all things considered, is one of his best. Myself included, Kevin Smith has been hit and miss with me, with Clerks, Chasing Amy, Clerks 2 and Zack and Miri being my favorites while Mallrats, Dogma, Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back being just okay for me(I didn't see Jersey Girl/Cop Out) and it goes without saying I was worried this would be a miss.
But it isn't, and I think this has to do for a few reasons:

1. The actors are all good in this film, from John Goodman to that guy who played Kurt Russels son in Sky High.
2. This isn't like any other film that Kevin Smith has ever done before i.e its not a straight up comedy.
3. The fact that anything reminiscent of Fred Phelps could be as good as this is a testament to how insane this world really is.
4. It's the first film where he's worked with a Oscar winning actress(not Oscar winning writer, before you get on my case).
5. Kevin Smith appears on film for the first time in 5 years(abit just a vocal cameo)
6. The run time is short enough that even if you can't stand this film, it won't waste too much of your time, much like Haywire.

Kevin Smith claims this to be the greatest film that he's ever created and I can see where he's coming from with this: it's unlike anything he ever has done before. It's more action packed and shot differently from all his other films, a point that I applaud him for. Not enough directors try new things nowadays, often staying the course until they are either acknowledged for their achievements or stop making movies altogether. The movie may not be for everyone however, as the same humour that has been present in all of Kevin Smith's work is also here as well. 

Overall, Red State may be the last great film that this man ever makes(well, second last at least according to him). It's by far one of his best, one that fans and abnormal people alike should enjoy. If you aren't a stick in the mud. Fuck Pete Campbell. 

Rating: 4/5